Life Changes

So before I posted about that one person that kept questioning me. I used to work in the Drug and Alcohol rehab field. I loved it and had a passion for it. The clients loved me for my openness and my ability to understand them. There was an individual that would talk about me behind my back, saying I don't know what I'm doing, I'm wrong, and my heart is not in the right place. Being told that I am wrong I can deal with, but being told my heart is not there, I can not. I had meetings with the director about this but the problem was never resolved, and I never got the answer or resolution that I was looking for. I am not saying that running or leaving your problems is the way to deal with it. But sometimes it is the only answer. So I left, I left my job, my family, my friends, my dog, and the city I grew up in. I moved three provinces away, and now I live in the mountains. I can look out my bedroom window and see them silouhetted against the sky. I am happy, I would go into work 7 days a week, even though I was only scheduled for five, just to check on certain students and get to know them even better. I was dedicated. But it was still hard, dealing with other peoples problems, and absorbing them, thinking about them, dwelling on them. I got tired really fast, but only really when the one guy really started to slag about me behind my back. I couldn't take it, I remember bursting into tears one night and my mom hugging me and telling me maybe it was time to move on. She would say remember when you first started at this certain place, the passion you had, the love in your eyes when you would talk about the changes and success's of the guys you helped. That helped for awhile, but it got rough, and I was drained, they say if you devote your life to it that you can only last about 3 years in the field, dealing with the losses. I have had students that I loved, left the program only to kill themselves. I only did last 3 years before I ultimately had to leave. So I left everything. I had my own wine and cheese party tonight, remeniscing about the past, drinking ring bolt 2005, jean bousquet 2007, goat cheese brie, genoa salami, and it was amazing sitting on the deck looking at the mountains. I have been out here only a month and a half but I look better. I have more energy, a tan, I work out everyday. And I have not had to hear anyone else's problems since being here. After being here for two weeks I had already been called a Saint twice. So right now, as I am waiting for my Mom to confirm her visit out, I am truly happy and things are really looking up right. I just miss the old work, family, and friends. But I am strong enough now, that it does not matter. I've moved on, and am creating a new life. Well I could probably type and talk about more, but it's getting late and I am heading out tomorrow for a chili cook off, so later.

-Jawsh